Scene Edits: An Overview
Editing can take a lot of different forms. From taking a completed draft and adding whole new plot lines, or going line by line and changing punctuation and wording, the word "edits" encompasses a lot of different things.
Recently, I wrote a snippet of a scene for my YA fantasy novel, Blood Curse. I knew from the moment I typed it up that it was going to need work (read: EDITS), and I decided that this was the perfect opportunity to show you all my method for going through a scene edit -- not a large scale, plot changing story edit, or a line edit, but something in between.
Here is the original scene, as I typed it:
It's not a bad start to a scene, but there's definitely problems with it. The action is extremely choppy, and it's hard to understand what's happening.
I realized that for this scene, I was going to need another opinion. So I sent this scene to my brother, who noted that the way I'd written the scene made it seem as though my main character had just taken a direct shot to the head and survived. He also noted Kay's strange dialogue near the end of the section.
I then rewrote most of the scene completely from scratch in my notebook, where I could resist the temptation to copy and paste. Then, I took both scenes (the one above and my handwritten one) and combined them. My edits are in green.
Notice that I decided to completely remove my main character getting shot. As this is only the beginning of the fight scene, there was little to no point for it, anyway. It only served to confuse things.
I also decided here to change the pronouns of the shooter from "they" to "him." I wanted to make it seem as though there was only one attacker, which will add tension later when my main character finds out this is not true.
Now, after I have the larger points taken care of, I'm ready for the nitpicky stuff.
Recently, I wrote a snippet of a scene for my YA fantasy novel, Blood Curse. I knew from the moment I typed it up that it was going to need work (read: EDITS), and I decided that this was the perfect opportunity to show you all my method for going through a scene edit -- not a large scale, plot changing story edit, or a line edit, but something in between.
Here is the original scene, as I typed it:
I frowned. “But --”
Bang! Pain shot through my temple and I stumbled forward, staring around blindly. What -- Gro took off with a startled scream.
Kay cursed. “Get down!”
He shoved me to the ground as another shot whizzed over our heads.
“What’s --”
“They’ve found us,” Kay muttered.
I lifted my head but lowered it just as quickly as another bullet struck the boulder in front of me. “What the twelves is that?”
“Flintlock.” Kay cursed again, drawing his sword in one smooth motion. “But they’re using up their shot quickly. Once they stop firing, they’ll have to reload. We take them then.”
I nodded, blinking away the blood that trickled into my good eye.
I realized that for this scene, I was going to need another opinion. So I sent this scene to my brother, who noted that the way I'd written the scene made it seem as though my main character had just taken a direct shot to the head and survived. He also noted Kay's strange dialogue near the end of the section.
I frowned. “But --” A shiver ran down the back of my neck and I glanced behind me. For a moment, I thought I saw something move out of the corner of my eye. Then it was gone.
“Kay --” I turned back, but Kay was already approaching the gap in the wall, seemingly unaware of anything amiss.
I jogged after him. “Kay,” I hissed. “There’s something -- someone -- watching us.”
Kay made a grunting sound in the back of his throat and glanced back at the treeline. “Calm down, your majesty, there’s no one --”
Bang! Gro took off with a startled scream. The sound bounced around the clearing, ringing in my ears. What --
Kay cursed. “Get down!”
He shoved me to the ground as another shot whizzed over our heads.
“What’s --”
“Radicals,” Kay muttered. “Sneaky little --”
I lifted my head but lowered it just as quickly as another bullet struck the boulder in front of me. “What the twelves is that?”
“Flintlock.” Kay cursed again, drawing his sword in one smooth motion. “But he’s using up their shot quickly. Once he stops firing, they’ll have to reload. We take him then.”
I gripped my sword hilt, bracing myself.
The shots quieted.
I also decided here to change the pronouns of the shooter from "they" to "him." I wanted to make it seem as though there was only one attacker, which will add tension later when my main character finds out this is not true.
I frowned. “But --” A shiver ran down the back of my neck and I glanced over my shoulder. For a moment, I thought I saw something move out of the corner of my eye. Then it was gone.
“Kay --” I turned back, but Kay was already approaching the gap in the wall, whistling a jaunty tune under his breath.
I jogged after him. “Kay,” I hissed. “There’s something -- someone -- watching us.”
Kay made a grunting sound in the back of his throat and glanced back at the treeline. “Calm down, your majesty, there’s no one --”
Bang! Gro took off with a startled scream. The sound bounced around the clearing, ringing in my ears. What --
Kay cursed. “Get down!”
He shoved me to the ground as another shot whizzed over our heads.
“What’s --”
“Radicals,” Kay muttered. “Sneaky little --”
I lifted my head but lowered it just as quickly as another bullet struck the boulder in front of me. “What the twelves is that?”
“Flintlock.” Kay cursed again, drawing his sword in one smooth motion. “But he’s using up his shot quickly. Wait till he stops firing. We take him then.”
I gripped my sword hilt, bracing myself.
The shots quieted.
Here I'm just fixing any wording I don't like. I also decided to show Kay's obliviousness, rather than tell, by replacing "seemingly unaware of anything amiss" with "whistling a jaunty tune under his breath."
I also replaced one line of Kay's dialogue at the end of the section with something less tell-y, but overall, I didn't do much for this part.
Then I checked for grammar and fixed any and all mistakes (you won't see any mistakes here, though, I'm obsessive about my "in-print" grammar)
And that's my scene editing process in a nutshell. Obviously, some scenes will take more edits, and some less, but this example is about average for my current work.
Do you have your own editing process you follow? What are some of your best tips for editing scenes?
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